Self-Intimacy: Go Ahead... Touch It

How often do you masturbate?  No really, how often?  Do you do it at all?  For men, this may be a simple question and somewhat rhetorical, but for a number of women I work with, the act of self-love isn’t practiced often, if at all.  They seem to have similar issues around the topic, ranging from shame, to intimidation, to ignorance of where to start.  Masturbation is an important part of sexual health for those of us who are sexually active, and those of us who are not.  How can I articulate to my partner what feels good if I don’t know myself?  Masturbation is about mastering one’s own pleasure and being knowledgeable of one’s body.  In addition, masturbating can in turn make you more comfortable touching your partners body in ways that you may not have thought to before.

If the thought of masturbating is a little intense, start with a mental fantasy.  Think about how you would like your partner to touch you, and then, touch yourself in that same fashion.  Try to focus on the fantasy and the sensation you’re creating when you touch yourself.  The point of masturbation isn’t always orgasm, but rather a way to relax and enjoy our bodies. Not only does it feel good, it releases chemicals in the brain linked to stress relief, pain relief, and calmness.  In our busy and chaotic lives, couldn’t we all use pain and stress relief, along with pleasure, that we can have “on demand”?